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The Ultimately Turkle Journal (Turkle: adj, something superior than another)
May. 27th, 2009
11:42 am - due to popular demand...
I'm back baby! For today at least.
I'm working in a lab this summer full time...although I don't get paid until starting next week so I don't even know why I'm here but....and right now it's extremely boring. I have nothing to do except plan and prepare for the mice we're supposed to get next week. AWESOME. I just spent the last hour squeezing some polymer crap into little plastic tubes 5mm long so that I can fill it with hormones later whilest covered in two lab coats, a mask, goggles and 2 pairs of gloves. WOO! And trust me, that polymer crap is a pain in the butt!!! I was seriously using my whole freaking body for this tiny little tube and I'm definitely going to have a blister tomorrow...ugh. Anyway, despite that, working in the lab is pretty cool. Yesterday all I did (seriously) was go on facebook, pretend like I was reading papers, and made a new resume since I deleted the old one.... I'm basically just here this week in case anyone decides they need me to do something haha. But yeah while I'm waiting for the polymer to dry so I can go play with estrogen I figured I'd come online and procrastinate.
"So what's new with you Katie?", you might ask. Well I'll tell you some stuff:
1.) The biggest thing lately: I've decided that I'm going pre-med. After deliberating about my future and after hours of agonizing anxiety I have finally decided that it's 100% the right track for me! I only wish I found it out earlier.... Oh well. I really want to go into pediatrics, primary care, ob/gyn, or neurology. I want to keep an open mind at any rate. I'm totally prepared for a lifetime of giving screaming children shots, looking in people's ears and throats, looking into people's ho-ha's and bringing bloody babies into the world, and running brain scans. Actually, I can't wait! The only thing now is actually getting into med school. That's my main anxiety lately. Being pre-med puts a lot of pressure on me to do REALLY REALLY well in school that I didn't really have before. UGH. Oh well, nothing I can't handle....I hope. Anyway, it's a right fit I think, and I'm pretty excited about it.
2.) I decided I'm taking a year off before going to med school (if I get in...) and during that year I will be doing one or more of the following 3 things: working as an EMT in Millis, working at Millis High as a substitute and assistant basketball/tennis coach, or commuting from Millis to Boston to take over our current lab tech's position when he leaves for bigger, better things next year. At any rate I am certain of two things: 1.) I'm moving back home for a year which is terribly sad and is going to be frustrating after living on my own but it is financially a good idea, and 2.) making money and volunteering at some hospital or other. Can't wait. UGH.
3.) I'm going to be a senior in the fall...which I cannot believe!!! That's so scary that my last year as an undergrad in college is coming up! The last few years have just FLOWN by! It's creepy really.
4.) Oh yeah, the lab. I got a UROP grant for the summer which is basically $4000 for the summer to be a research bitch. But at least I get to do my own research. Lots of people ask me what my research entails...and I'm always hesitant to answer. Why? Well....it's more or less awkward. Our lab studies the links between pheromones, olfaction (smell), and behavior in mice. One of our grad students found a pathway in the brain that goes from the accessory olfactory bulb to the medial amygdala (which is the brain center for aggression, sexual behavior, fear etc). We are lesioning (taking out) the medial amygdala of the mice and then see if the mice react differently to gender-specific odors aka pheromones. Sounds fancy huh? WELL what that really means is next week I have to milk mice for their pee and then after I HELP preform some brain surgery, I present the pee to the mice and see if they like the male pee or female pee better. When that's done, I then watch the mice have sex and rate on a scale of 1-4 how the female responds where 1 is she beats the male up or runs away, and 4 is she is like "OH YEAH BABY!". Fun stuff. Anyway...it's pretty cool I guess. I can't wait to watch that mouse porn. WOO!
5.) I'm starting as a volunteer at a children's hospital tomorrow I think. It's a desk job but I'll at least be in a hospital setting. I always seem to pile stuff on for myself. You would think working 40 hours/week would be enough for me but nooOooOOo. I always do this. Last semester I had a part-time job, volunteered in the lab I'm working in now, was chair of a committee for relay, took 3 lab classes, and volunteered (or tried) for a hospital. It was a painful semester. Unfortunately next semester looks as though it's going to be just as jam-packed, however I'm not taking any lab classes which is nice. But yeah, needless to say, I've been very busy.
That's probably enough for now...I really should get back to work...although I might take my lunch break now before I play with the hormones. Hm...
Maybe I'll be back on in a few hours when I get bored again.... :)
Apr. 27th, 2009
02:26 pm
holy crap! I haven't written in here since 2007. AND i'm almost a senior! AND im a super slacker right now. WOA
Nov. 30th, 2007
01:11 am
Hey,
i can't sleep due to a combination of things, like too many thoughts going through my mind, excessive noise from the gutz, and so on. i should be sleeping because 1.) i have to get up at 6 tomorrow, 2.) I havent been getting good nights of sleep and 3.) i cant afford to take a nap tomorrow because I have a lot of work to do. never-the-less, im on here. oh livejournal how i've missed you!
so my usual end-of-semester apathy has hit me, only its a little worse off this time cuz now it's just mixed with slight confused depression, loneliness, and i suppose regret. it's really quite exhausting: not wanting to do anything/lack of passion and feeling all that at the same time.
it's just...i leave here soon and i'm so confused about it. part of me CAN'T WAIT to go home! i just miss everyone soooooo much and i miss boston and american things and everything like that. another part of me doesn't ever want to leave because when the times are good, they're really great! part of me knows that all these people ive come to love and live with in the last few months will never be this close to me again, nor i to them and it really depresses me. part of me regrets not taking better advantage of being in europe, of seeing more, of getting to know dresden more. yet part of me is exhausted from all the seeing I did do. part of me wants to see sooo much more. part of me wants to do well in school. and the other doesnt really care at all.
that's just an insight to my confusion at the moment. it's exhausting. i find myself having strange dreams all the time...not bad...actually usually good but strange none-the-less. up until now I havent really had any dreams while here in dresden. its weird.
i have finals next week. i cant believe i already have finals. i feel like i just got here! the whole thing is one big blur!
i'm really really really upset at myself for not writing in here. like MEGA upset. but i think what I'll do is I'll keep all my class schedules and i have all my tickets and stuff and when i get back im going to spend a day just writing everything i did while in europe so i can have it written down. it's not the same cuz the details and jokes and stuff will be gone but at least ill have the important memories written down. damn it why didnt i do that all along. omg.
today was my last day playing volleyball with the germans. it was really sad actually, and very awkward to try and say goodbye. they're so nice and funny and its weird to think i wont see them again. its too bad :(
anywayyy i really should get to bed. im going to the awesomely huge christmas market after bio tomorrow and then im doing homework for the rest of the day and then going out at night with some friends. im excited for that. i really do love the people here. i dont think the experience would have been the same without them.
i digress, its time for bed
goodnight all of you at home, i'll be seeing you soon!
i miss you all so much!
Nov. 27th, 2007
10:28 pm
hello my loves,
im very upset with myself for not updating this while i was here...i could have kept a better track of my time in europe and would have remembered all the awesome things that happened. so much has happened, I LOVE STUDYING ABROAD but i miss home.
i seriously can't believe i didnt keep better record of this. im just too lazy, or maybe i was just too busy enjoying life. i suppose it doesnt matter. ive got pictures for my memories.
going home is going to be bitter sweet.
Sep. 13th, 2007
01:59 pm
sooooo
basically i suck at updating this!!
( ich spreche Duetsch! ich liebe Duetschland!!! )
Aug. 22nd, 2007
06:47 pm
alright, ill update now!
things here have been going very well so far! i think i left off on wednesday. dinner was pretty sweet that night. me, steph, and erin basically sat at the guy table but they're all really nice and we had some good chats. also, i decided that i liked wine with dinner. after we went to get cheap cocktails and that was pretty fun too. i have some good pictures from that night actually. anyway, then thursday we had a tour of the campus which is WAY bigger than i thought. for instance, the library is UNDERGROUND. haha isn't that awesome? then at night we went on a semi-ok bar hopping adventure which ended with a few of us leaving the last bar for a quieter one to hear nick and miguel tell stories. haha that was funny. friday night we had a tour of the city and it's absolutely gorgeous!!! we went to a famer's market after, then made our first dinner here. we even had wine with it, it was so sophisticated. erin, steph, cait, and sid came over for dinner. there's pictures on face book. then the 5 of us went to stadtfest (the dresden city fest) for a bit too look around. we didnt really do much there but it was still really interesting to see everything. those 4 are easily becoming some of my best friends here, although im making lots more good friends as well. then saturday me, steph, and erin went shopping during the day and then in the afternoon the 5 of us plus miguel (another good friend) went to stadtfest for a couple of hours. the fireworks started at 10, however, so we decided to come back home and then go back out later cuz there wasnt much to do there. the fireworks turned out to be pretty sweet and we had some good time drinking beer, taking incriminating photos, and dancing to native american music (that's right..their are native americans in germany trying to sell their cds. hahaha). i even got laid! (a jagermeister lei actually...it's orange and pretty sweet). on the way home i REALLY had to pee so i basically ran home. (mind you that's a 3 mile walk apparently. yeah we made that walk 6 times within 26 hours). sunday was pretty fun too! i slept in nice and late and then met up with 11 others and played the best game of ultimate frisbee of my life! i was really out of shape and sucking wind, but i played really well considering. i scored 3 or 4 goals out of 7 for my team (team actung! which means "attention!") and we won! we played for a good 2 hours before quitting. i have a HUGE bruise on my arm from deflecting a throw by the other team. it's sweet. but yeah frisbee was awesome. let me see my team was steph (who pays ultimate frisbee on the actual bu team), miguel, mia, marshall, erin, and me. it was really awesome. afterwards i talked to brian for a really long time and went to bed pretty early. it was good to talk to him, i miss him. i miss everyone really. monday was my first german lesson.
hm ill finish this after dinner cuz steph and erin are coming over to make sausage and potatoes!
To be continued....
Aug. 20th, 2007
05:34 pm
hello
i really suck at livejournal lately. ive just been so busy and tired from doing things that i just dont feel like writing haha. no worries though. ill prolly update later tonight so have no fear!
but i can't right now cuz i have to go get some dunners (which is like a gyro only...better i guess haha)
peace out homeslicies!
Aug. 15th, 2007
11:51 pm
Hey everyone, im here!!!! in germany!!
i love it love it so far, although the first 2 days wouldnt tell you so. im not gunna write about today right now cuz im still kinda tipsy from cheap cocktail hour at the bar (its my first night drinking and drinking is DEFINITELY part of the culture...did you know that das boot REALLY exists?!?). however, the past two days i took time to write journal entries and here they are. today's entry will come tomorrow when i wake up i think :) but for now ill let you know the people that are here from bu are amazing!!! i love EVERYONE and they're all soooo nice. i find myself talking to a different person everyday and getting along with them just fine! its amazing how well we get along and how much we've bonded. :) im so happy to have friends and people here :)
( germany days 1 and 2 )
Aug. 12th, 2007
04:50 am
well....
IM LEAVING IN A FEW HOURS!
aufweidersein or however the fuck you spell that.
my address is fucked up but im in room 260S at
Gutzkowstra(beta)e 29-33
01069 Dresden
(p.s. that beta is an actual beta letter (a weird looking B))
and yeah. im nervous but hella excited!!!!
here goes an awesome adventure!
Aug. 11th, 2007
03:07 am
dear friends,
i am scared shitless right now. i leave in a day and a half. im all packed and ready to go and its going to be an amazing experience but i cant help but be scared!!!!
i just...im just afraid that ill come back and no one will remember me...and that no one will want to be my friend...that ill come back and be different. i know its ridiculous but i cant help it. i know there's nothing to be worried about but....you know. anyway, ive been having fun but not at the same time.
anyway, i love you all and i just wanted you to know that.
i realized that with every goodbye there's no guarentee of ever seeing someone again. it frightens me and i cant help but feel that some goodbye i say in these last few days before i leave will be the last i say to someone. its an awful feeling but i cant help but feel it. i hope im wrong. my grandparents wont live forever, i keep telling myself. but im afraid to say goodbye to them because a lot can happen in 4 months. a lot.
best of luck and most of love to you all. keep in touch my dearests! keep in touch!
Aug. 8th, 2007
04:02 pm
heyyyy
i uh leave for germany in 4 days!!! WEIRD! today was my last day at milford. my dad threw an awesome surprise-ish going away party and i hung out with some cool kids on saturday. sunday was hiking with alicia, dad, and amy, and yesterday i went into boston and cheesecake factoried wtih jessi and amy!
today im getting my haircut and tomorrow im going back into boston to get supplies/shop with alicia green. i love seeing people...but its so sad saying goodbye and such. id get into more detail but im really tired and want to lay down. so ima do that.
byeee
Jul. 31st, 2007
04:06 pm
i went to maine last weekend. my 3rd cousin christina is awesome. i also finished harry potter. i really really liked it :) but im sad that its over :(
ive been working and working but i realized today that in 2 weeks exactly i will be waking up for my first time in a REALLY foreign country (the bahamas just dont count haha) !!!!! im so nervous but SO excited!!!!
there's a lot going on before i leave, but ill talk about that when it all happens. anyway, peace out!
Jul. 26th, 2007
10:16 pm
hey everyone. quick update:
-harry potter 7 is out. im not done yet. boston was meh
-im working 50+ hours/week. thats ok money = fun in germany which is 2 weeks away
-hopesfall show=amazing. we were backstage/on the side of the stage because alicia passed out from dehydration. she ended up being just fine but they let us hang out with the bands and on the side of the stage and stuff. it was awesome!!
-brian took me to hampton beach last weekend as a surprise! it was really fun- we had a great time and he was really nice basically the whole weekend (except when he refused to go in the water haha) it was pretty sweet though.
-maine this weekend.
ok bed time. bye
Jul. 12th, 2007
07:58 am
hello all
im just kinda updating quickly before i have to go to the train station. im going to nyc today on a bus by myself (im a big girl now!) so that i can visit my friend bekah. i was really really excited until i found out (after i bought the tickets) that 2 girls from school that i kinda dont like a whole lot are going to and the plan was we're all gunna go clubbing. so now im just excited as aposed to really excited. but yeah nyc is nyc so it will still be awesome! AND it will be an experience. im not even upset about the long bus ride! ill get to do a lot of reading and music listening!
well just to update, i saw harry potter 5 last night. it kinda disapointed me. i didnt really like the way the director chose to do a bunch of things and felt like they focused on the wrong things. eh. oh well...i was never a huge fan of the movies anyway. haha. i just finished book 2 the other night and will hopefully have book 3 done this weekend. i dont think ill finish book 4 in time but...eh. thats ok.
also, me and brian have kinda been going through some rocky times i guess. he's unsure if he loves me because well...this is kinda is first real relationship and yeah. i understand that he could feel that way but it doesnt make it hurt any less, and i cant help but feel confused. we still get along REALLY well. like, we bicker sometimes...but in all honesty we really get along well. we have fun together and can always find something to talk about. i dunno...its confusing. it seems like all the relationships around me are getting very messed up lately. i think, in the end, me and brian will be ok...maybe. i mean...i think germany will decide what happens for now i guess. whether we go on a break while im there so he can figure stuff out or he realizes he does love me while im gone. i dunno we'll see lol. for now, im just trying to deal best i can and get along pretty well. he's taking me to a surprise vacation next saturday/sunday which is pretty sweet. i mean i cant really read the new harry potter book but i cant really pass up a vacation that he's paying for ;)
ah harry potter. it comes out next friday!! im sooo excited!!!! a buncha awesome people are going to boston to get the book and party and such...i just cant wait! i cant believe the end of harry is near! it's been so long that he's been in my life haha.
im going to the beach saturday with alicia and 2 of her friends from school i think...and then i might be starting at milford manufacturing next week (or so the boss guy told alicia lol) so hopesfully ill have more money.
next sunday and tuesday (22nd and 24th) are the hopesfall/vanna shows and im really excited for that. it looks like ill have a good bunch of weeks coming up!
I HAVE 1 MONTH FROM TODAY UNTIL I LEAVE FOR GERMANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it totally snuck up on me!! its like...whoa! where'd that come from?!? i started a packing list yesterday. OMG im so excited. it just feels unreal! like, i feel like im gunna get to the airport and their gunna be like "HAHAHA you really fell for that? how dumb are you!?! you arent going to germany! HAHAHA"
oh wells. anyway this is getting long. im gunna go and get ready to walk to the train!! EEK i cant believe im just up and going to new york city!!!
Jul. 3rd, 2007
01:39 pm
where did i leave off? oh yes. i was going to milford manufacturing to see if they'd hire me.
( cut because this turned out longer than i thought it would... )
Jun. 24th, 2007
09:03 pm
OMG YAY!
you know how i was sad earlier about missing hopesfall and treos?
well....hopesfall's playing with vanna in providence july 22. AND that's the day after the harry potter book release (i think) and OMG that made my day.
cool beans kids, cool beans!
11:30 am
hello. i havent posted in quite a bit i suppose.
germany is coming up soon. i leave in 7 weeks. wow.
also, hopesfall AND the receiving end of sirens are touring!!!! my favorite band and my practically second favorite band together, in one amazing show. HOWEVER, their tour does not start until august 10th and their first show is in maryland...about 7 hours away. (i checked because for a few minutes i seriously considered going there to see them haha. they're both putting (or have already put out) new cds so it would be even better. damn i dont want to think about it cuz i cant see them!!!! :'( oh well. im going to germany, its ok i guess...
last friday i went to dinner with amy, alex, jessi, lauren, and jenna. then we went to amy's house (plus ilana) and played mario party. haha that was fun. ilana was on my team. saturday i closed work and me and brian got in a little fight, but sall good now. sunday i closed again and read a lot. monday me and brian went for lunch and hung out...but then i had work til close AGAIN. i went home and read and stuff. tuesday i went to see vanna with alicia. haha that was fun. we met a kid who has the saddest life EVER and i felt really really bad. it made me realize i have nothing to complain about. we also met a girl who was only 14 and was very annoying. vanna was kickass and the last song we all jumped around on the stage, it was awesome! wednesday i hung out with erin for a bit which was cool cuz i never really see her, and then i hung out with alicia, alicia, brian, and matt costello which was also extremely kickass! we went to some random burger place that was pretty good but i think the best part was when we drove around matt's neighbor hood in his golf cart playing the mario soundtrack. a dog even jumped into the cart when me and the alicias drove by haha. then we watched mortal kombat the movie. that was pretty sweet. thursday morning i worked, and then later on me and alicia went to the mall and panera and then for a nice little walk which was fun. friday i worked in the morning again, and then me and bri went out for dinner (i guess ive gone out to dinner quite a bit) and then watched the godfather 2...which is REALY FREAKING LONG! and then yesterday i worked, chilled, went for a walk with alicia, hung out with alicia, brian, matt, hil, and kaitlyn and watched norbit. fun stuff.
today i work 12-5 and tomorrow i go into milford manufacturing to see if i can get a job there for the rest of the summer. but now i have to go to work so this is gunna end abruptly.
Jun. 12th, 2007
11:07 pm
hey
i feel much better today. i dont know what was wrong with me last night.
i could update on the last week but i dont feel like it right now. i will, however, update on today.
i went to flamers for lunch with brian, green bean, and matt costello. haha it was pretty awesome hanging out with them. especially cuz i was the young kid hanging out with the cool older ones haha. it was good to hang out with alicia again cuz that doesn't happen as often as i would like! we played a little bit of guitar hero and then i went into boston and visited amy. on the way there i got a call from kelley scientific resources offering me a second job! it's a part timer in watertown washing glassware for a company that does neuro disease research like alzheimers! this time it sounds like it will work out. *crossing my fingers!* annyyywaayy. amy and i saw the dinosaur omni show and it was pretty good. nothing earth shattering but still good. at the gift store at the museum i saw lots of nerdy things that i wanted to buy, like a shirt that has the diagram of a caffeine molecule. OMG its awesomely nerdy! im such a nerd! anyway then we went to the cambridge galleria and ate at the cheesecake factory. mmmm it was goooooooood. im still STUFFED! then we went to borders and i realized im even more nerdy cuz i read LOTS of nerdy fantasy books. nerdy is so fun! i also bought a german disctionary AND a helpful german phrases guide. hahahha on the way home we tried to speak german. i now know a few more words....
for example, i now know that skistiefel (prounced shee-shteefel) means 'skiboots'
haha this is going to be interesting cuz german looks INCREDIBLY difficult. YAY!
until next time,
peace out!
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